1. No one can be happy. Ever!
2. Nothing can ever go as planned.
3. The most middle class of families can and will throw four-hour special episode worth of parties which make the Mittal daughter's wedding look like Sheetal aunty's Kitty Party.
4. Nothing of any value can ever transpire during a regular episode. All the story-moving events will only occur in one-hour weekend specials.
5. No matter what the case, anyone, anywhere and anyhow can come back from the dead. However, they will generally do so with a complete makeover and in some cases a full personality transplant.
6. All human beings are born with at-least three look-alikes all within a ten-kilometer radius.
7. All look-alikes are born well-versed in the art of taking on the characteristics, mannerisms and habits of the original individual in a matter of weeks with just one lonely villian for trainer to the extent that they can fool family members who've been with the person every single day of his/her life for decades.
8. An originally good look-alike substitute will turn evil and an originally evil replacement will in the end come to have a heart of gold.
9. Good people are stupid.
10. If your show doesn't feature at-least one discriminated against child, it's not going to work.
11. Indian audiences are morons.
12. All the social evils which people have worked so hard to eradicate from society must be exhumed, morphed into beyond bizzarre avatars with little to no semblance to reality and reinstated within society, all in the name of "bringing them to the fore" and "educating the masses" despite the fact that most of the Indian populace does not have cable subscription (and thank God for that!).
13. Men are all either one-dimensional morons tossed around like ping pong balls by the women in their lives, completely evil over-the-top villians, or honorary women.
14. There will be tears and they will be enough to fill bathtubs.
15. No matter how much effort the poor hapless parents put into getting their daughter married and regardless of how good, perfect and just awesomly awesome a husband they find for her, she will be back living with them in a matter of a few months, maybe even with the amazingly kewl Damaad (son-in-law) in tow.
16. There will be thappads (slaps) and they shall resound more than an elephant in a bathroom.
17. Villians can get away with anything.
18. No matter what the ailment or where, the dashing hero always needs to be spoon-fed by the demure and blushing heroine who must take care of him by staying up nights and falling asleep at his bedside. Soap opera nurses are there only as decorations.
13. Men are all either one-dimensional morons tossed around like ping pong balls by the women in their lives, completely evil over-the-top villians, or honorary women.
14. There will be tears and they will be enough to fill bathtubs.
15. No matter how much effort the poor hapless parents put into getting their daughter married and regardless of how good, perfect and just awesomly awesome a husband they find for her, she will be back living with them in a matter of a few months, maybe even with the amazingly kewl Damaad (son-in-law) in tow.
16. There will be thappads (slaps) and they shall resound more than an elephant in a bathroom.
17. Villians can get away with anything.
18. No matter what the ailment or where, the dashing hero always needs to be spoon-fed by the demure and blushing heroine who must take care of him by staying up nights and falling asleep at his bedside. Soap opera nurses are there only as decorations.
No comments:
Post a Comment